Write It Scared Summer Replay #3 Encouragement for the Frustrated Writer
•Stacy Frazer•Season 3•Episode 113
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The podcast is on summer break, so please enjoy this vault favorite!
And don't forget to submit a Courage File for a chance to be featured on the show and win a free editorial assessment and book coaching session in Fall 2026!
Are you feeling frustrated with your writing? Do you struggle with setting up unrealistic expectations of yourself and your words?
You’re not alone, and today, I will offer up a mindset shift.
Join me as we unpack the importance of embracing gratitude for every part of the writing process—ESPECIALLY the words that don’t make it into your manuscript.
Remember, every word contributes to your growth, no matter how discarded it may feel.
NO WORDS ARE WASTED.
Writing is a practice.
With the holiday season upon us, it’s the perfect time to slow down and appreciate our efforts.
Remember to be patient with yourself and celebrate your efforts and all the words you write, even the ones you delete.
00:00 Introduction: The Myth of the Perfect First Draft
01:30 Mindset Shift: Gratitude for Unused Words
02:21 Thanksgiving Reflection: Slowing Down and Showing Gratitude
03:47 Embracing the Writing Process: Practice Does Not Make Perfect, It Makes Improvement.
07:49 Encouragement for Writers: You Matter More than You Know. So Does Your Story.
09:21 Conclusion: Keep Writing and Keep Practicing Gratitude!
No one writes a perfect novel in one shot. No one plots everything perfectly on the first go. No one catches everything they need to fix in one editing pass. And I believe that the danger zone is when we start to think consciously or subconsciously that we're gonna be the exception. And the reason that's dangerous is because we're setting ourselves up for failure by expecting too much from ourselves. Hey writer, welcome to the Write It Scared Podcast. I'm Stacy, your host. Uh the podcast is on a break for the summer while I recharge and get ready for season four, but I didn't want to leave you hanging. Over the next couple months, I will be pulling some favorite solo episodes from the vault, episodes on craft, mindset, and just the messy reality of writing our books. Also, as a reminder, the Courage Files will remain open for submissions all summer long. The Courage Files is a new segment launching on the podcast in season four where listeners share moments of writing courage, big or small. Maybe you finally figured out how to make a tricky scene work, or you finished your draft, or you shared your work. Maybe you returned to writing after a long time away, or you simply kept going when it would have been easier to quit. Whatever your moment looks like, I want to hear about it. And with your permission, share it on the podcast next season to help inspire other writers. Because remember, we're in this together. Every submission received this summer will be entered for a chance to win a free editorial assessment and book coaching session with me. And I'll announce the winner when season four kicks off this fall. To submit, go to writeitscared.co forward slash courage hyphen files, or you can find the link in the show notes. And if you're diving into planning or drafting a new novel this summer, grab my free novel quick start guide. It's called First Draft Confidence, and it's designed to help you build a strong foundation for your story so that you can move into your first draft with more clarity, more confidence, and a whole lot less flailing. You can find the novel quick start guide at writeitscared.co forward slash novel planning guide, or you can also find the link for that in the show notes. All right, so let's get into today's episode and I'll see you back for real in season four. Hi, writer. Welcome back to another episode of the Ride It Scared Podcast. I'm your host, Stacey. Thank you for being here with me today. We're gonna hit a mindset topic that I hope will make us all feel a bit better about the words that don't actually make it into our manuscript. So we're gonna talk about how to have gratitude for the words that we don't use and why that's important. But before we jump in, I wanted to remind you that another cohort of my small group book coaching for fiction writers will begin in January of 2025. And this is for any commercial fiction writer who wants to start developing their story idea and write a novel in the coming year. So if you want to write your fiction in a safe and supportive community with other writers as you learn what you need to know to plan and draft a book that you're excited about, please go to writeitscared.co forward slash group coaching to learn more and apply. Space is limited, but you can get on the enrollment list now. Okay, so let's jump into our topic for today. So here in the US, it's almost Thanksgiving. And this is always a time where I feel the need to slow down and do some reflection. I don't know if it's just the changing of the season and it's cold and the leaves are turning and we're almost into December. But I've learned over the years that slowing down is a good thing. And someone once told me a long time ago that gratitude is an action. It's not just enough for me to think about being grateful. I have to actively demonstrate my appreciation. And I really didn't get it back then when I first heard it, but I do now. Now I understand more than ever that living a full life is about giving as much as it is receiving. So I just wanted to take a minute to tell you how much I appreciate you being here. Thank you for letting me into your writing life. And I hope that what you find in these weekly podcasts encourages you to keep going and keep reaching and keep growing. There's no finish line here, and and that's a good thing. So let's talk about gratitude for our efforts and for the words that we use as well as the ones we don't. And if you're a frustrated writer because you had to let go of some words this year, or you didn't write as many as you wanted to, uh, this one's for you. And I'm right there with you because I scrapped quite a few myself, and it wasn't pleasant. But it's okay. We're persevere. So it can be really frustrating when the words don't come or when we don't like what we write, or when we don't wind up using the words that we wrote. Sometimes it can feel like a huge waste of time to plot story events that we can't see clearly, because they'll probably change anyway. Or, you know, like you write a handful of chapters and then you realize the story started in the wrong place, or you didn't have your main character's trajectory mapped out like you thought you did, and you gotta start over. And uh or worse, even worse, you write the whole book, the whole thing, and then you realize it's broken, as in it's really broken, like as in it's a page one rewrite, and you have to throw it all away and you start over. Those things happen and they suck. And because we feel like we're not moving forward, we're not reaching the goal of a finished novel that we're proud of, it can get very, very frustrating. But, but, but, but let's question that line of thinking for a minute. Aren't we in fact getting closer with every word we write? Regardless of whether that makes it into the manuscript or not. So I'm a big fan of saying that words cannot be wasted. I don't believe that waste is possible in writing. The reason is is because it's all practice. All the novels I've started and never finished, all the unreadable rough drafts and the tens of thousands of words that I cut from the last book I and the few that I cut from this one, none of it was a waste of time because it was practice. I needed to write those words to clear the way for the ones that truly belonged in the story. I had to learn to write shitty before I could learn to write better. It had to begin somewhere. When I started writing fiction, I didn't understand that the writing process is really about iteration, and sometimes I still struggle to accept this fact. But each piece of the process, story development, drafting, revising, polishing, it requires multiple rounds of examination. And some of us do this as we go along, toggling back and forth between different parts of the story, while others, you know, drive straight through and then circle back to the beginning. And of course, as we gain experience, we become more efficient. But even so, no one writes a perfect novel in one shot. No one plots everything perfectly on the first go. No one catches everything they need to fix in one editing pass. And I believe that the danger zone is when we start to think consciously or subconsciously that we're gonna be the exception. And the reason that's dangerous is because we're setting ourselves up for failure by expecting too much from ourselves. And that opens the door for procrastination, for perf perfectionism, for pessimism. We have to remember that writing is a practice. And what it what does a practice mean? A practice means that we're repeatedly performing a task for the purpose of improving. We're not writing because we've got it all figured out. The excellent ideas only come after we've examined and tossed a few bad ones. And I believe the same is true of prose. So let's not judge the words that get tossed as worthless because they are anything but that. Instead, let's celebrate the words that don't make it into the final product. Let's have gratitude for them. The fact that you wrote them means you're a working writer. You're doing something that many people only pay lip service to. So if you're frustrated, and I'm talking to myself here, as well, if you're frustrated, cut yourself some slack. Don't be afraid of crappy writing, shaky plotting, or advising more than once. It's practice, it makes you the stronger and more efficient writer. As I always say, focus on the gain and not the gap. Stay willing to practice and be patient with yourself and your words. I am grateful for you. Thank you for being in the writing world. Thank you for showing up and writing your stories, for weathering the hard times and juggling everything that comes with this chaotic life, and still carving out time to dream and write stories that mean so much to you. No matter how big or small the progress, it all matters, it all counts. And you may not realize it, but you are someone else's example. Just by doing what you love, you are paving the way for another to take a chance and embrace writing and storytelling. And where would we be if we didn't have stories or only had a handful of people telling them? That is a small, cold, dark, narrow-minded place that we actively oppose together by putting down our words. So, in case you need a reminder today, or any time you need a reminder, come back to this. You matter more than you realize, and so do your stories. You are a writer. You are uniquely creative because you are you. You have every right to pick up your pen and write the story you wish to see in the world. The only permission you need to do this work is your own. You can learn all the things you need to craft a book that you are proud of. You can do this because you love it and that is valid. It's okay to take breaks, it's okay to stop writing for a while, you're still a writer. So, my friend, I invite you to look in the mirror today and see the beauty and the courage that you put in the world. So take a hand, raise a hand, and realize that we were showing each other how. Again, thank you for being here and for your support for the podcast. Happy Gratitude Day with a side of stuffing, and I will see you in December. Thank you for listening to the Write It Scared podcast. If you enjoyed today's show, please make sure to hit the follow button so you never miss an episode. And please leave a review. Reviews help other writers like you find the voices and messages they need to hear to continue to write their stories. Let's lift each other up. Remember, you can be scared and still be unstoppable. I'll see you next week.