I want to share an experience that I've been grappling with over the last couple of months, and it revolves around that fear of being judged for what you write and what you enjoy. And this wasn't easy to share, but I've been processing it for a while now, like a month or so, so I didn't just wake up and decide to shout about it on the podcast or anything like that. Welcome to the Write It Scared Podcast. I'm your host, Stacey Fraser, a formerly repressed creative soul, turned fiction writer, story editor, and author accelerator certified fiction book coach. At Write It Scared, we tell the truth about why writing a novel is so hard by acknowledging that most writers grapple with two stories: the one they want to put on the page to the best of their ability, and the often subconscious internal story that prevents them from doing it. This show is designed to help you identify and rewrite the internal narrative holding you back while you discover and write the story you want to tell and learn all the tools to help you do that successfully. Join me each week for a new episode where we'll talk about writing to deepen our understanding of the craft and of ourselves as writers. Writing a novel is an inside job that we do not do alone. Welcome to Red It Scared. I'm glad you're here. Let's dive in. Hey writer, welcome back to the Red It Scared podcast. I'm your host, Stacy Fraser, and here we are, somehow in 2026. And if you're anything like me, the last week has felt like this strange, foggy stretch between Christmas and New Year's where you don't really know what day it is, and the leftovers have just kind of become a food group in general. Your brain's about half offline, and you're not sure if you're coming or going. That's been me. But I'm starting to come out of the fog, and I just kind of wanted to ease us into the new year together. So today's a solo episode, and it's a bit more reflective and definitely more off the cuff than I usually do. And I wanted to talk to you about setting some writing intentions for the year ahead and also about the fear of being judged for what you write, and also share a small change that I'm making to the podcast this year. So let's start at the end and then we'll circle our way back to the beginning. This year I've decided that I'm going to share a personal writing update here on the podcast once a quarter. Nothing polished or performative or anything like that. I'm certainly not going to read anything to you, but just an honest look at what I've been working on and how I'm dealing with any fears or insecurities or doubts that show up as I try to do the work. And the reason being is that I ask my guests to do this every time they come on the show. I ask them to be vulnerable about their writing lives. And if I'm asking that of them, I want to be willing to do the same because this is right at scared, and I'm a writer and you're a writer. And the whole point is that we're in this together. So that is the shift for the podcast. It's a small one, but it is intentional, which brings me to the heart of what I want to talk about today, which is part personal writing update and part just being a writer in the writing world. And that is facing the fear of being seen or judged for what you write, otherwise known as things that expose your jugular, or at least mine, as this is my first personal writing update on the podcast anyway. So I want to share an experience that I've been grappling with over the last couple of months, and it revolves around that fear of being judged for what you write and what you enjoy. And this wasn't easy to share, but I've been processing it for a while now, like a month or so. So I didn't just wake up and decide to shout about it on the podcast or anything like that. But here nor there. Earlier this year, I wrote a short story, and it was a steamy mail-mail romance, and it was selected to be included in The Leaves Still Fallow, an anthology of Queer Love, which was published by Big Thinking Publishing. And I got my copy of the anthology early in December, and it was the first time I'd ever been published by a press, and that was pretty damn cool. And the book, the book is just absolutely beautiful. The cover is like stop you in your tracks, gorgeous. And it's filled with all these courageous and tender stories about love and longing and overcoming. And I just want to take a quick minute to shout out to Big Thinking Publishing and to all the contributing writers and the tireless staff who worked to bring that anthology to life. And also a portion of the proceeds of that book went to support two organizations doing important LGBTQIA plus advocacy work. And of course, I also want to say a big thank you to my beta readers, authenticity readers, sensitivity readers who helped me with that story. Now, I was beyond thrilled to have been selected, but I can't lie, having that particular story published brought up some stuff. And I mean, of course, there was joy and excitement and you know that kind of surreal feeling of did they really mean to pick my story? But there was a big dose of the crunchy feelings too. Permission slip questions, like who the hell am I to write this? And who the hell would want to read it from me? And this fear of being seen, of being judged for what I write, what I read, what I believe. And I wish I could say I didn't care what others think, but if I did, I'd be a liar. I do care. And on some level, I I probably always will. It's not easy to let go. But here's the thing. I realized that even after I had the book in my hands, I'd really been holding off talking about it publicly, especially like in my social media circles, because I was afraid what a few folks, cough, mostly family and people from way back in my past would think. And I was afraid they'd judge me and they wouldn't understand what I wrote or why I wrote it. And not only I was I afraid, but I was also assuming. I was assuming they wouldn't be in alignment with what I was doing. And you know what they say about assumptions, right? Yeah, makes an ass out of me. I mean, what others think it's not my business. So the short of the long was I was hiding. And my behavior isn't really about the potential opinion of others. When I reflect on it, it's truly about me learning to navigate the risk I'm willing to take to be seen as myself. And embrace the ideology that those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind. And I continue to discover that letting go is a practice and a process. It's certainly not a one and done find the finish line kind of thing, at least not for me. So that's the truth. Publishing this story brought up some stuff. But what helps is when I remember the other side of it as well. Because the other truth is that I got to write something really fun. I got to write something hot and light, and it made me happy. And I wrote it well enough to have it published. How cool is that? And the other thing is that I wrote about something that I deeply believe in. That love is love, that nothing else matters, and all variations of love deserve sunlight and safety and dignity and respect. Now, I also believe in the timing of the universe, though I don't always like it, and sometimes I only believe in it in retrospect. And I keep hearing Susan Sloat, who was a guest on the podcast from a couple of weeks ago, I believe it was episode 84. And I hear her voice in my ear and saying, Stop worrying about what anybody thinks of you. Just go solve the story problem. So that's what I'm trying to practice. Just letting go as many times as I need to, showing up and being real as best as I can about how this feels. And my hope is that by sharing my messy experience, that you'll feel a little less alone if you're trying to navigate that fear of being seen for the work that you create. If you'd like to purchase a copy of the anthology, I'll post a link over in the show notes. All right. So let's talk about writing intentions for 2026. You know, I've never really been a big word of the year type of person. I've done it before, but usually I just forget it and go on about my year. But for some reason, this year feels really different. I actually have a lot of words this year. I have a lot of intentions around how I want to show up. And I think that's just because of what I shared, uh, the experience that I've had sharing about this short story publicly. I'm becoming more willing to be seen. And that's not easy, but it's helping me learn to let go a little bit more every day. So instead of asking you what you want to accomplish or finish this year, I'd like to ask you what kind of a relationship do you want to have with your writing in 2026 and with yourself? And how can you set the intention for that and then create a plan of action to make it happen? So reflect back on the year before. What kind of relationship did you have with your writing last year? What worked for you and what didn't? Now, last year, my intention wasn't outcome related. It was truly about consistency and following my joy. And because of that, I made it through a very big structural revision project that I'd been working on for well, I've been working on that specific book for a couple of years now. But in April, I think it was April 2025, I sat down and I went to revise it. And it took a while. And the book's not done yet, but I did get to the end of that huge structural revision and I was really happy about it. And I also started drafting a new novel last year that's also male male romance. I'm leaning into what I like, and I've got about 37K drafted. And I wrote that short story and got it published. And none of that happened because I pushed harder. It happened because I was willing to be consistent within the reality of my life. And there were many months when I didn't write anything, especially in the summer. But I focused on progress over perfection, on gain versus gap. And so my intention for 2026 is very similar as it was for 2025, with one important extension. I want to be consistent, I want to make progress, I want to show up, and I don't want to hide. Now, I didn't say I was gonna finish anything, and that's on purpose because the finishing happens when we stay in the work, right? When we commit to the process, when we commit to our stories, and when we commit to finding a rhythm that fits within our lives. Because life happens and we can't control everything. Storms happen, hurricanes happen, babies happen, grief unfortunately happens. And you know, what I've come to realize is that I'm starting to learn to write with my life instead of against it or in spite of it. And I think that's part of the work of being a writer, part of the what do I want to say, part of the practice, part of the lifestyle of writing. So I'd like to invite you to reflect on what kind of intention you want to set for the 2026 writing year? What needs to change for you to have the relationship you want with your writing? You know, based on looking back at the last year, the years before, and evaluating what went well and what didn't, and what do you need to give yourself? What do you need more of? Do you need more grace? Do you need to find a writing community that supports you? Do you need to take your foot off the gas a little bit and relax? Do you just need to be reminded that consistency matters and that looks different for everybody? For you, consistency might mean that you only write on the weekends, whereas consistency for me might mean that I write three to four days a week early in the morning before anybody's awake. It's okay to be different. Just swim in your own lane. So thanks for tuning in today. I know this episode was a bit off the cuff and kind of rambly, a bit more reflective than what we're used to. And you definitely got to peek into my life, but I appreciate you hanging out with me. And I would love to know if you enjoyed this type of personal writing update from me. So if you want to send me a message through the show notes, um, you can do that on any platform you listen in on. There's a place where you can send me feedback, or you can just send me an email at Stacy at writitscared.co. I'd be happy to hear from you. And as I said, I'm only going to do a personal writing update once a quarter, so it's not going to be a big thing. I'm certainly not going to read you what I'm writing. So no worries there. Also, before I go, I do want to remind you that as of the day I'm recording this, there are still spots open in DraftIt Scared, which is my small group coaching program for writers who are in the story development or drafting phases of a project and are looking for book coaching support, editorial feedback, brainstorming sessions, structural help with writing a novel, and they want to do that in a small and supportive community of writers. I'll put the link to DraftIt Scared in the show notes, and it won't be open for very long. Enrollment closes on January 7th, and then the group will kick off the following week, January 13th. So if this is something you're interested in, you can check the link in the show notes, or you can just go to the website writitscared.co forward slash draft itscared and look for the details. All right. Thanks for tuning in with me today. I will be back with a new guest next week, and we have a full lineup of conversations coming your way in 2026. We'll also be continuing to balance guest episodes with solo episodes focused on craft and mindset. I know I have been backing off of those a bit recently, but that's because I've had so many writers who wanted to come on the podcast and I'd recorded with them this fall and I have them lined up and I want to get their episodes out into the world and honor the time that they dedicated to coming on the podcast and sharing their writing journeys with all of us. So I will see you next week. Until then, think about your writing intentions for 2026. I hope you had a happy new year. Remember to be gentle with yourself, be kind to yourself, know that you belong here, and keep writing. Thank you for listening to the Write It Scared podcast. If you enjoyed today's show, please make sure to hit the follow button so you never miss an episode. And please leave a review. Reviews help other writers like you find the voices and messages they need to hear to continue to write their stories. Let's lift each other up. Remember, you can be scared and still be unstoppable. I'll see you next week.