If we blow past appreciating our efforts and our successes, no matter how small they might be or downplay them, we're going to lose more than just a moment in time. We will lose sight of our growth as writers and as human beings. Welcome to the Write It Scared podcast. I'm your host, Stacey Fraser, a formerly repressed creative soul, turned fiction writer, story editor, and author accelerator certified fiction book coach. At Write It Scared, we tell the truth about why writing a novel is so hard by acknowledging that most writers grapple with two stories: the one they want to put on the page to the best of their ability, and the often subconscious internal story that prevents them from doing it. This show is designed to help you identify and rewrite the internal narrative holding you back while you discover and write the story you want to tell and learn all the tools to help you do that successfully. Join me each week for a new episode where we'll talk about writing to deepen our understanding of the craft and of ourselves as writers. Writing a novel is an inside job that we do not do alone. Welcome to Write It Scared. I'm glad you're here. Let's dive in. Hi, writer. Welcome back to another episode of the Write It Scared Podcast. I'm your host, Stacey, and I'm so happy you're here. Today we're going to talk about a mindset topic that makes a lot of us uncomfortable, myself included, and is about celebrating our own efforts and accomplishments when it comes to writing. So let me ask you, are you good about acknowledging and celebrating your efforts and achievements when you are in pursuit of a goal? If you're like many of the writers that I work with, the answer is no. Not really. Hard no, sometimes. I I mean most of us, myself included, we we've already got our eyes set on the next to do before we've really even acknowledged what we've just completed. Now, this might be a byproduct of our fast-paced lives, but sometimes we don't see our efforts or achievements as valuable and meaningful, and we should. Because those reasons for not celebrating can be damaging. And I want to talk about why, because we always have a choice when it comes to how we think and our intentions. And with every choice we make comes a cost. So if we blow past appreciating our efforts and our successes, no matter how small they might be or downplay them, we're going to lose more than just a moment in time. We will lose sight of our growth as writers and as human beings. We will lose the potential to increase our self-esteem, boost our mood, set a good example, and fortify our resilience for next time. We lose the opportunity to be seen, to inspire others, and let them participate in our journey. So in the long run, not slowing down will put us at risk for burnout, doing for doing sake, and eventually it will suck all the joy out of the thing that we were once passionate about. Trust me, I've had lots of practice at turning play into work. And at times I have believed I'm a better human doing than a human being, and I don't recommend that. So let's get real. Writing a novel takes tremendous emotional, intellectual, and physical energy. It takes dedication and perseverance, belief, faith, trust, time, outside support, sacrifice. And I doubt if any of us actually gives ourselves the credit we deserve. And the flip side is that we know it. We know this is hard. And we don't hesitate to give credit to our fellow writers. And we would never dream of not celebrating our children if they sat down day after day and dedicated themselves to a big task. The bottom line is that reflecting on our efforts and accomplishments in a positive way will only increase our sense of self-worth and intrinsic motivation. You know, doing it to enjoy it and to grow. So if we know that, then why is it so hard to celebrate ourselves? Why not us? Why not you? Why not me? Everybody's answer is going to be different. We all come from different emotional backgrounds. For some of us, like me, celebrating is far too strong a word. It brings up images of streamers and parties and attention and just makes you cringe. Maybe that's why some of us shy away from the idea of celebrating. But a celebration doesn't have to be all about any of that. A celebration can be as small as a smile and a deep breath shared between friends or just between you and your coffee mug. It's not really about what one does to celebrate. What really matters is just taking some action. What we can always do is be intentional. We can create a habit out of self-acknowledgement, and we can learn to lean on others to help us remember to do those things for ourselves. So, case in point, a few of my clients are finishing their first drafts and revision projects. And I had asked them how they plan to celebrate. And neither one of them took the question very seriously. One of them said, I'm going to have lots of ice cream, and the other one shrugged their shoulders. And I kind of smiled and I was like, Yeah, that's not gonna work. And they laughed and I laughed. And, you know, my writers know they don't get off easy. They are gonna do a self-assessment exercise during our wrap-up sessions. And this goes for both my clients that are in private and group coaching sessions, you know, and we do these self-assessment exercises to help them reflect on what they've learned, to realize the value of their progress and acknowledge the effort that it took to be in it, that it took to achieve the final result, whether that's finishing up story foundation work, whether that's finishing a first draft or finishing a revision. Now, none of my clients are shocked at this point because we do check-ins regularly and not just about the project, but also about the process and how they see themselves changing during the experience. So the self-assessment is a tool that I use to help my writers slow down, freeze frame, if you will, and reflect with a lens of gratitude and compassion and pride, like authentic pride, as well as build in ideas for celebrating their accomplishments, both big and small. I ask every writer who works with me some version of the following questions periodically throughout the course of our work together. And if you are a writer who struggles to acknowledge your efforts in a positive light and celebrate your achievements, I would encourage you to stop and periodically ask yourself these questions, maybe once a month, maybe once a quarter, however often you need to, just to slow down and appreciate what it is that you're doing and what a challenge it is, and re be be proud of the fact that you're stepping up to the plate. So here are the questions. Number one, identify three to five things, writing or life related, that you are proud of and why? How will you celebrate yourself in your dedication? Remember, this can be big or small, it can be a smile, it can be a deep breath, it can be a cup of coffee, it can be a donut. I tend to go for food related rewards. It doesn't have to be huge, right? It doesn't have to be a party. What did you enjoy about the process? How did you feel about your ability to achieve whatever your goal was at the start of the process? And how do you feel now? What do you think went well? What were the strengths that you had to lean on to get it done? What did you learn? What skills did you enhance or develop in the process? And what beliefs do you now hold about the process of writing a novel? Where where were your most significant challenges and obstacles? How did you overcome them? Or adapt? What would you change? What would you do differently next time? If you want a copy of those questions, I will post a link to it down in the show notes. So embracing and celebrating our achievements, no matter how small, matters. By taking time to acknowledge our effort and our success, we're gonna reinforce our self-worth, bolster our motivation, and sustain our passion for writing. This act of reflection not only enriches our personal journey, but it's gonna set a positive example for others. So, my friend, let's make a pact. Let's commit to this practice to pause, to appreciate, and to celebrate our effort and our milestones. Because I want a more fulfilling and more resilient creative life for all of us. So thank you for tuning into this episode. And if you want to incorporate this self-assessment, self-acknowledgement practice into your writing life, go to the link in the show notes and you can download a copy of these 11 self-assessment questions. Thanks for being here. I hope this episode helps you. If it does, please make sure to share it on your socials, and I would be forever grateful. Have a great day. Thank you for listening to the Write It Scared podcast. If you enjoyed today's show, please make sure to hit the follow button so you never miss an episode. And please leave a review. Reviews help other writers like you find the voices and messages they need to hear to continue to write their stories. Let's lift each other up. Remember, you can be scared and still be unstoppable. I'll see you next week.