SPEAKER_01 0:00

Will I ever figure this thing out? I don't know, but I certainly won't if I don't show up. So, you know, it's kind of a suit up, show up, give yourself grace when you're just human. You can't do all the things. But will the fear, will the uncertainty ever go away? No, but I think we can definitely get better at managing our response to it by, you know, remembering to align our intention with our action. Welcome to the Write It Scared podcast. I'm your host, Stacy Fraser, a formerly repressed creative soul, turned fiction writer, story editor, and author accelerator certified fiction book coach. At Write It Scared, we tell the truth about why writing a novel is so hard by acknowledging that most writers grapple with two stories: the one they want to put on the page to the best of their ability, and the often subconscious internal story that prevents them from doing it. This show is designed to help you identify and rewrite the internal narrative holding you back while you discover and write the story you want to tell and learn all the tools to help you do that successfully. Join me each week for a new episode where we'll talk about writing to deepen our understanding of the craft and of ourselves as writers. Writing a novel is an inside job that we do not do alone. Welcome to Write It's Scared. I'm glad you're here. Let's dive in. Hi, writer. Welcome back to the Write It's Scared podcast. I'm your host, Stacey Fraser. Today is episode number 30, and this format's going to be a little bit different because you're going to hear a guest interview me, which is kind of weird. So last month I was a guest speaker at the Novel Kickoff event hosted by Solutions for Writers with book coach Sarah Gentry. It was a really fun, free virtual event for any aspiring novelist who is working on a story idea or currently drafting or maybe in revision. There were a bunch of guest speakers, and I was privileged to be a part of it. And it was just a place where writers could come and gain inspiration, motivation, talk craft, and just feel connected. And as you know, I am all about those things. Sarah has graciously allowed me to release my interview with her on the podcast. And we had a really fun conversation about my philosophy on how to write through fear, how I help writers work through self-doubt, and the tools that they can reach for to continue on. So I hope this episode helps you pick out something that motivates you to press forward, even though it's scary, even though the outcome is uncertain, even if you feel like you might be lost in the reads right now. Press on. Allow that discomfort and uncertainty to serve as your compass. Because if you are uncomfortable, then you are touching something real. So I hope you find something that helps. And if you do, please be sure to leave a rating and a review and then pass it on. And also, please make sure to check the links in the show notes because I have included a free resource there called the Right Mindset, which will help you move past fear and write through creative blocks. Now let's jump into the interview.

SPEAKER_00 3:11

Welcome, writers. I have got Stacy Fraser here with me. Hi, Stacy. Hi, Sarah. Thanks for having me. Yes, this is gonna be a great conversation, writers, because Stacy has some really great things to say under her motto of write it scared. And so this is going to be just fabulous for all the writers, no matter what you are writing, no matter what stage of writing you are in, and no matter how long you've been writing, this is gonna be a great conversation for you. Uh, but I know Stacy, but you may not. So Stacy, let me introduce you to our writers. Stacy is a formerly repressed creative soul-turned fiction writer, author, accelerator, certified book coach, and host of the Write It Scared Podcast, which is a great podcast writers. So we will have a link to that, and you should totally subscribe and listen. Her mission is to help beginning and struggling fiction writers overcome self-doubt, find joy, and gain clarity and confidence in their process and craft so they can finish books they are proud of. When not writing, reading, or working with writers, you can find Stacy crafting with her daughter or on the trail with her big goofy Labrador Guskus. Is that Cinderella? Guskus?

SPEAKER_01 4:21

Guskus. Yeah. He's a hundred-pound lab that thinks he's a lapdog, but at the time he was a puppy and he was fuzzy. And so we called him Guskus.

SPEAKER_00 4:32

No, that's awesome. And then, of course, we'll have links to the in the show notes here, writers, but you can also connect with Stacey on her website, writitscared.co, or on Instagram at write it scared. And I think the writers will see a theme here. So so I I think let's let's jump right in with that. I love this this phrase that you have, the write it scared. Can you tell us a bit how you came up with this motto for your coaching business? Sure.

SPEAKER_01 5:04

Yeah, well, it's kind of just what I do every day. And I think it resonates with a lot of the writers that I work with. Is for myself personally, I came to writing later in life. And I, when I was younger, was, you know, a creative little kid. And that got stomped out of me. And it took me a long time to get back to that. And when I did, I ran up against this idea. This my per there was a problem with my permission slip. I was looking for somebody to give me a permission slip. And nobody's gonna do that for you. And I had like all the fears, you know, what what what do I have to say? Like I wasn't used to using my voice as anything other than an echo chamber for other people. I didn't know what I thought or what I believed in really for the longest time. It to you know, had some some significant growing up to do in my 20s and my early 30s. And some of that led to some pretty dark, dark, twisty roads, right? But out of that, I I started to write. And then it was like, well, okay, maybe, maybe I can, but again, like just snowballed with all the who am I to do this? Who am I to say this? What are other people gonna think? Is it co is it good enough? I don't have a degree, like, this isn't what I studied, my background's in medicine, all the things. So I've always kind of loved the saying that if you're not scared, you're not writing. Because I believe, I mean, as fiction writers, what we put on the page is a piece of us. And that's true, nonfiction too, but and and and definitely memoir, but and and so there's a vulnerability to it. And I don't think that that ever really goes away. And so if we want to do this, we have to find, you know, we we're here because we have the desire to do it for the most part. Nobody's like, oh thank nuts to the fire making us do this, right? We're doing it to ourselves. We have the desire. So then we gotta fix that permission slip. It's gotta come from inside. We have to cultivate the belief that we can and that we should and we will, and then continue to pursue it with courage when it gets hard and and have the resolve to finish what we start. I don't think that fearless and you know courageous are synonyms, right? We gotta learn to do, we have to learn to do this in spite of what scares us.

SPEAKER_00 7:41

Yeah. That's why it's called Right It's Scared. No, that's fantastic. So you mentioned like typical fears that certainly writers have. So, so like in your experience, whether it's for you personally or with the writers that you're working with, what are some common, what do you think are like the common fears that writers are coming up against when they're blocked?

SPEAKER_01 8:05

Yeah. Wow. They run the gamut, right? Is it good enough? What are they gonna think? You know, they're gonna judge me. I'm too old. I'm too young. I don't have a degree, I need a degree. Just yeah, just all the variations of self-doubt that come down to really boil back down to is it good enough? Will I be rejected? Should I bother? Am I wasting my time? I think those are the cores.

SPEAKER_00 8:37

Yeah, yeah. And the answer is yes, you will be rejected. But maybe at some point someone will also say yes, but not everyone will say yes to your work, no matter how well loved it is.

SPEAKER_01 8:51

Yeah. I remember what it what it was for me. Is this a worthy pursuit of my time? And nobody could answer that for me except myself. I had to make that decision on my own. And that meant I had to overcome the other things that were kind of holding me back.

SPEAKER_00 9:09

I think it's easy to think. I mean, certainly some of these fears might be more common in writers who are trying it for the first time. For writers who are more seasoned, I think they still have their own set of fears. And sometimes they're new from what first-time writers will experience. You know, it's like, I did it once, but can I do it again? It's like, now we have a whole new new ball of wax to deal with. I don't think it ever 100% goes away.

SPEAKER_01 9:38

I don't, I don't think so either. I think the I think the goal is just kind of like to get out of the paralysis piece and into action, even though you're still scared. Yeah. At least you're doing stuff. But yeah. You're moving. Yeah. So getting out of the paralysis. And a lot of the writers I work with, they that's one of the big struggles, is they have this analysis, paralysis, which can speak to, you know, you're just dealing with a level of anxiety and you like things to be a certain, you know, you like us like a certain level of security before you go forward. And really that's what fear is, right? It's fear is a natural instinct. It's not good, it's not bad, it's designed to keep us safe. But there are situations where we can use discernment and and decide, do we need it right now in the first draft, when nobody's paying attention at all? Nobody's looking. Promise, nobody's looking. Do we need that? Or can we lower our expectations and you know, give it a go and let it be?

SPEAKER_00 10:44

I feel like you've already touched on one way, because I'm I also wanted to ask you like how you like to help people move out of these fears and to move forward. And I feel like you've just touched on a big one, reminding people that it can be for you for a while.

SPEAKER_01 11:01

Yeah. I actually just did a podcast episode on this about figuring out who your first reader is. And that's you, right? It's not them. It's not whoever them is that's gonna think this isn't good enough. It's that's not who you're writing for right now. It's not the for the critics or your family or your best friend or your neighbor or whatever, right? It's just for you. And I had a really hard time with that personally at the beginning. I know what I liked to read. I knew the stories I was drawn to, but I was embarrassed about that. Like my circles, the circles around me, I didn't, I mean, not that I knew what they were reading at night. I just assumed that they read better stuff than what I was reading, right? Tull story, right? Right, exactly, exactly. And instead, I'm curled up with a young adult romantic and going, you know, and and and not that I think that there's any writing that is good or bad or indifferent or whatever your taste is, but I myself compared what I liked to what I thought I should like, given circumstances around me. And that was an internal belief system that did not serve me. So you ask, how do I help writers? I kind of use a two-pronged approach, really. It's one cultivating a healthy relationship between the writer and the creative work. Right. And so that's like looking at what the goals are, what the expectations are, are they reasonable? Right. Given the constraints of your life, looking at the forms of resistance that typically come up for you. I mean, um, for most of us, it's some form of procrastination, perfectionism, pessimism, not good enough, right? And and how does that pop up for you? How can we be mindful of it when it's getting in your way? And what are action steps we can take to do that? So that's on one side of the board. And then on the other side is actually creating the the unique creative container for the writer in the story. Um, and that's the values that they hold and the reasons that they're writing this book and the foundation of the story, you know, who are the characters and what is the plot and and the problem these characters are going to go through that speaks to, you know, whatever the writer it is, what whatever their, whatever the story speaks to, whatever they want that to speak to. So we're designing both of those things at the same time, right? And we're just doing regular routine, regular check-ins, like on, you know, and being upfront about expectations. Like I'm going to be a mirror for you. These are the values you set forth, these are the goals you set forth. I will hold that for you.

SPEAKER_02 13:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:49

And when you are not coming to the table with what you did you want, I'm going to push and we're going to figure out why.

SPEAKER_00 13:58

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 13:59

That's that's what a coach does, right?

SPEAKER_00 14:01

Yeah. That's really good because as you had mentioned before, it's it's the action. I mean, we don't want to feel like we're these sitting ducks waiting for people to come after us. If there's something more empowering about trying to move forward, however small of steps you may be taking.

SPEAKER_01 14:20

Yeah. Yeah. And so it's more than just figuring out the dynamics of the story. It's also figuring out how the writer works. Yeah. And sometimes they work differently than they think that they work. So yeah, it's it's a lot of fun. It's a rewarding process, and it's a long-term relationship and a commitment.

SPEAKER_02 14:42

Right.

SPEAKER_01 14:43

So, and I love what I do. And I love helping other people put their stories in the world. And just watch them grow in confidence that they that they can.

SPEAKER_00 14:55

Yeah. That's the best feeling ever. I you had mentioned that you came to writing from not writing or from a not writing specific field. It's not like you were writing your novel in an MFA program somewhere. So I think that experience, because that's also an experience that I come from as well, I think it probably speaks to a lot of writers. So how were you able to move from being I'm not a writer to I am a writer? Slowly. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 15:28

Slowly. For me, the key was mentorship. That was the key. Once I started, you know, dabbling in the fiction world, I was overwhelmed by all the different avenues to figure out how to do this thing. I mean, I have these beautiful books on my shelf, right? They're gorgeous. I love I love books. I've always loved stories. I've always admired authors. And I thought they were like these magical unicorns. They just, I don't know, they just poof, a story emerged and they fluttered off and they wrote the next one. This is not how it works, right? We know this. But in my naivety, that's what I envisioned. Because I had no clue what it took to do this. Anyway, so yeah, so I I had no background. I had studied economics and medicine and and I could write you something very dry, a very dry, analytically designed like argument, but I could not entertain you. Anyway, so I wanted to learn how to do that, and I was overwhelmed at all the different resources out there. And that's when I heard about book coaching, right? I was I was reading all the craft books. And the point I was making there about the books on my shelf is like I understood what I was writing was nowhere close to what I was reading. There was this huge gap between that, and I didn't know how to close that. So I was reading all the craft books. I was like, well, should I, you know, should I go take a creative writing class? Should I go get an MA or an MFA? Should I go back to school? I've always loved school. School sets. And then I heard about book coaching on a podcast. It was Mom Rights with Jenny Nash. And it was Abby and what's the other lady's name? Abby and Melanie. Melanie, thank you. And I was like, wait a minute. So you mean there's a way to like learn this one-on-one with somebody else? And I did that. Quite shortly after that. I contacted Author Accelerator and I found an Author Accelerator book coach. I worked with Don IS and then went on to work with other people, other types of coaches and writing mentors. And that's really what it was is getting that informed editorial feedback was a game changer for me.

SPEAKER_00 17:42

Yeah, that's how I got my start. Yeah, I love that you call it a mentorship too, because I think that sometimes writers might feel intimidated by the idea of working with a book coach because you're thinking, you know, when you turn something into an editor, it's usually more polished by that point. And you're you're kind of looking for ways to just maybe clean it up a little bit more. But a book coach will actually like get in the dirt with you and and help you sort out the mess. And the nice thing is that you can along the way get affirmation about what you're doing well so that you can keep, you know, doing the good stuff. And you're like, okay, and I think that helps to build confidence. But then they will also help you, as you said, bridge this gap between where you are and where you want to be.

SPEAKER_01 18:32

Yeah. I mean, for example, like the first book coach I work with, I was like, I mean, I head hopped everywhere. I kept it. Oh, point of view, what's that? Dialogue attribution, don't know. Where did that period go? Don't care, never heard of that before. You know, it just things that you think that you would instinctually absorb but you from reading, but you don't. Yeah. So a book coach is gonna meet you where you are. If they're the right coach for you, right? So they're gonna meet you where you are. And if that's the if you need to learn those skill sets and that's a service that they provide, they will do that. They will help you with that. So yeah, for me, like it was mentorship all the way. That's what helped me step into I'm a writer. Yeah, and I will continue to write, and now I can't stop. And it's you know, and there's a certain level of insanity that comes along with that. And I have just accepted.

SPEAKER_00 19:23

Yeah. Yeah, that's fair. The great thing here about your write-it scared motto is that I feel like it it never truly ends. There's always, there's always like new ways for writers to come up against doubts or anxieties or fears about the work or about themselves, even. That's that's certainly a big piece of it. So hopefully we can manage it better, but I don't know that it ever really goes away. I don't know if you feel the same or have a different look on that.

SPEAKER_01 19:59

I I don't think it ever really goes away. I mean, uh uncertainty is never gonna go away. Yeah. You know, that's we don't have crystal balls. We can't see the end result of things. The best we can do is is learn how to show up for the work that we want to do day to day and just do the next right thing in front of us in service to our values and our wish that we want to put out in the world. Because that's what a book is to me. It's like a wish, you know, it's a it can be a dark wish, could be a happy wish, but it's a wish that we put out in the world. So are we gonna show up in service to that or are we not? It's like Yoda, it's like do or do not. There is no try, right? But with that, you have to learn to leverage in your grace and ride the rhythm of life, right? Because sometimes there is zero words happening here. Zero.

SPEAKER_00 20:55

Yeah, and and it sucks. That's another thing to be afraid of.

SPEAKER_01 21:01

Will I ever figure this thing out? Will I ever figure this thing out? I don't know. But I certainly won't if I don't show up. So, you know, it's kind of a suit up, show up, give yourself grace when you're just human, you can't do all the things. But will the fear, will the uncertainty ever go away? No, but I think we can definitely get better at managing our response to it by, you know, remembering to align our intention with our action.

SPEAKER_00 21:35

So that's that's a really profound like lining rope intention action. Wow. Well, somebody must have said it before me, and I just glomped up to it. Nope, I'm gonna give you credit for that one. Maybe someone did, but I'm gonna give you credit for that one because that's that's really well said. Well, writers, as you can tell, I really hope that this has been helpful for all of you, and hopefully this has given you a shot of inspiration. And Stacy, can you remind us where we're gonna find you online? And tell us what you're up to. Tell us what what's coming next for Stacy and Write It Scared. Let's see what's coming next.

SPEAKER_01 22:14

Well, so the podcast, the Write It Scared Podcast, has been out for five months now. It's a lot of fun. I enjoy talking to writers and writers and you know, people in the professional book world about the different pieces of the process and speaking with writers about their process and what hangs them up. And the whole point of the podcast is really to, you know, show that there's writing is hard, yes, but you're not alone. And, you know, you can do this too if you want to. That's the point. And and hopefully to connect writers with the voices and the messages they need to move forward. So the podcast is out there, it's the Ride It's Scared podcast. It's on all places that podcasts live. Let's see, private coaching, and I just kicked off my group coaching cohorts for fall, so nothing will be open there until spring. And those are a lot of fun, and it's just creating a solid, safe, supportive community where people show up and make good on their make good on their goals. And you know, we cry, we laugh. We laugh more than we cry, I promise. And I'm working on my own fiction, right? And pulling out my hair and momming and lifing and all the things. So you can find me at writeitscared.co and on Instagram at write it scared. Those are and the podcast.

SPEAKER_00 23:37

Awesome. Well, Stacy, I just want to thank you again for this conversation and thank you so much for your time today. Thank you so much for having me. And writers, we will have links for all the things so that you can find Stacy easily and absolutely do check out her podcast and go ahead and subscribe and leave a nice rating. Thank you. All right. Writers, thank you for joining us. We will catch you next time.

SPEAKER_01 24:07

Thank you for listening to the Write It Scared podcast. If you enjoyed today's show, please make sure to hit the follow button so you never miss an episode. And please leave a review. Reviews help other writers like you find the voices and messages they need to hear to continue to write their stories. Let's lift each other up. Remember, you can be scared and still be unstoppable. I'll see you next week.